"I sometimes visit your site and I've been reading all your complaints about how unhappy and unfair life is for you."
1) If you don't want to read my complaints, then by all means don't visit 1001 Things I hate About living with My Mom. It won't hurt my feelings if you don't want to read it. I definitely can't nor would I want to force you to come back.
2) Life is unfair at times to everyone. However, for the most part, I am not unhappy. I love my husband, my son, and even my mom (I just don't like living with her).
"Well, let me just tell you. It sounds like you have too much time on your hands you seem to spend an awful lot of time blogging. Maybe if you spent more time cherishing your baby"
1) I don't know that I have enough time on my hands. But I certainly spend a lot of time blogging (I am working hard to make a living doing just that, Blogging!).
2) As for cherishing my baby, How would anyone know how much I cherish him. He is well loved, well played with, and cherished (by more then me with 3 grandparents and 13 aunts and uncles).
"and being appreciative of all the help and support your mother gives you,"
Um...my mom lives with us so that we can help her. Not the other way around. While she loves Marcus and spends some time with him, she doesn't help take care of him, she doesn't help clean, or cook. So, before anyone can tell me to be appreciative of her help they should know if she does help. She spends most of her time on the phone, watching tv, and complaining. I love her dearly (though that doesn't usually come out in this blog), but she isn't helping us.
"Many don't have their mothers, many don't have their mother's help with newborns, and many can't have babies and many don't have husbands, and many husbands can't find work- you have what could be the start to a full satisfactory life, but yet you're unhappy?"
I am well aware of what I have. When I was in High School I had a friend who's father died when she was thirteen. I struggled with the pain that I had because my father let me down, drank too much, and didn't show me that he loved me. She once told me that at least he was still alive. It made me mad. After all she knew her father loved her. When my dad died when I was twenty one, I knew a little more how she felt.
I am thankful I have a mother (I just wish she didn't live with me). She doesn't help with the baby, but she is here to give plenty of advice! (if that's your thing...). I have a husband, but more then that, I have a wonderful husband (he brought me flowers and chocolates!). He has work, now it is even a good job, and we are working toward a wonderful future. Of course there will be hang ups, but there always is! I am not unhappy, I just have a few things I struggle with. It doesn't help being one prone to depression and having a very depressed person in the house with nothing you can do to help (I can't make her pain go away).
"You also might find that your life will be a little more worthwhile if you actually participated in life"
Thank you Dr. Phil, but "participating" in life is a matter of opinion. With out a car to do things during the day...I don't feel that I am missing much. Though in the next few weeks we are getting a second car (and yes, I am thankful!), and my in-laws will all be moved here. Life will be even fuller. The financial situation is getting better and better...I never said life wasn't good. I said I had issues.
"Get off this computer, nobody cares about your day to day complaints-"
I never said they did. But there are people who keep coming back. In fact I started this blog for me and me alone. I didn't think people would read it, but they do. In fact they do a lot...
"if you feel that you need counseling, you should go seek help like the rest of the world."
Hmmm...if blogging for free works, why would I pay someone?
"You also might find, that working as a team with your husband and attempting to bring in income might make your world a little more fulfilling,HEY, then you won't be around your mom all day, and since she is living with you til who knows when, she could save you a lot on daycare and you might feel some sense of pride and you might be able to someday afford the lifestyle you so desire."
Problem number one...My husband and I do work as a team and I am starting to bring in money, though unfortunately it is while sitting here at the computer. Though the idea of not spending all day with my mom is an appealing one. She can't take care of the baby, and she wouldn't save on daycare. I don't remember mentioning a lifestyle I "so desire". I have one, but not in the sense that this person feels. I desire to work side by side my husband, having a family in a much older fashioned sense. One that works together, plays together, and grows together, sharing all responsibilities. It doesn't really matter how much money we make, as long as the rent is paid, we have a vehicle, and food in our tummies (utilities and internet might help too), it only matters that we are working together. Last year together my husband and I made fourteen thousand, this year we will make about thirty five to forty...life is doing fine, financially!
"And you might actually feel good about yourself, like helping your mom during her time in disability! Where's your sense of compassion?"
I don't think I would be in the situation I am in if I lacked compassion. I don't think that I would have worked as hard as I have to have my mother here. But, I suppose, if you think that everything I am is what I expose to this single blog, then maybe you can say you know all there is to know about me. Of course you would be wrong, people aren't that simple and neither am I.
"You've mentioned how you fancy yourself as a writer, most writers read an awful lot, I would suggest some self help books to start with - maybe motivational. I"m sure you know that to be a writer, spelling and grammar are key, those are basic. You might consider taking some classes at an adult school - they're usually free - you may not yet be ready for college from the many basic mistakes detected in your writing style. To make money at writing you will need to write to a marketable audience- and blogging is just wasting your time and insulting your intelligence."
Reading is definitely something that I think writers need to do a lot. I also think self help books are good for everyone (Currently reading one on people who are Negaholics, which I happen to have an issue leaning toward). Second, spelling and grammar are not the key to good writing, or even writing in general. It was nice to be insulted though (having taken honors courses through high school, not needing adult classes, and having gone to college and completed several writing courses with good marks). As for blogging "just wasting your time and insulting your intelligence" try telling that to the ProBlogger and other Professional Bloggers who have made a lot of money "wasting their time" or those who have gotten great book deals from their blogs (not that I would ever suggest this one be mass marketed in any way shape or form, but maybe some of my other ones!).
"The body of content has to actually be interesting and hold your reader's attention, so I'm sorry to say, but I sure hope that you honestly do not intend or hope to actually make money with what you write about. Autobiographies are written about accomplished people who contribute much to the world- you are publishing your diary which is quite frankly uneventful."
Trust me, I didn't come here to write my woos and make a fortune (although adding PayPerPost to this blog has made a nice chunk of change that keeps growing).
"So unless you are auditioning for a trailer park trash slot on the Jerry Springer show, you may want to change topics in which you choose to write about - most people prefer to read about things that are useful or enriching, or amusing,action packed or that touches their heart, or just simply something they find fascinating."
Another nice insult...but frankly having read a few books this week, being one who reads several blogs (oh what a shocker, I must be wasting my time, just the same as this person), and enjoying several different educational websites and topics I am sure that I have graduated from the trailer park trash section to at least something a tad bit higher. Maybe burger flipper material. As for Jerry Springer, I am sure that I would need to write some more fascinating and dirty material. I am not angry enough, sleeping with enough people, or keeping enough secrets.
"You my dear are a bore. Also a quality of true writers is that they proof read before they share with the world. Have you never looked back at some the ridiculous stuff you write about yourself and become extremely embarassed? Have you no humility or shame? Your troubles are your own, you bring them all upon yourself and my only thought as to why you would possibly want anyone on the world wide web to read about your sad little world is because you want someone to offer you sympathy? SORRY, but you won't get that - everyone has difficulties sister, that's life."
I copied and pasted this (which is in my comments section on the post titled I fought...) so the spelling mistake here isn't my own...Any how, I have much humility and shame (part of the problem, I feel terrible for having issues!). But this blog isn't about sympathy, it isn't about a feeling that my world is worse then yours. I certainly know that I have it much much better then the large percent of the world population. This blog was just about me. It was my way of releasing steam. It has prevented a lot of fights (things don't seem near as serious once I put them in the blog). Could I have wrote in a diary and kept it private? Certainly, but I like typing it in, and I like the Blogger interface. I also figured that I could link it to my other works and see if it brought in more traffic to other writings that I am much more proud of. And it has. Could the blog use some work? I am sure it could, with spelling and grammar, but since it isn't something that I am ever going to try and sell...if it bothers you, don't come back.
"I guarantee you that NO ONE will treat you like a queen until you start treating yourself like one- get some exercise, you might find that you will have more energy and not need as much sleep. Being pregnant is not an illness, your body was meant to move - fresh air, exercise, eating healthy- this is all basic to maintaining a healthy body and mind - cut all the pop and junk food (fast food) from your diet and you won't be so tired and robbed of energy, get involved with the community- try helping others who are less fortunate than you, take your kid to the park, plant a garden, make some real friends, not just virtual(imaginary) friends, don't share so much about your problems, make some positive changes - starting with the way you speak (think and speak positive), clean your house, don't eat in bed, get outside and get some fresh air, be thoughtful and thankful towards all the friends and family who feel that you are worth their time, and love that baby. Be a little more respectful of those that support your laziness- it amazes me how you think all your complaints are valid, yet to me, and to the rest of us readers, you sound like a slob and somewhat abusive towards your family - definitely neglectful. Once you actually give a little, you will find that you will receive a little too. Nobody owes you ANYTHING."
Wow...someone crawled up your...it certainly sounds like this should never be aimed at someone you don't know. It is also clear that you have only read this blog (and only some of it). I am working toward getting healthy, as for sounding like a slob...what? Thinking, speaking, acting positive is something I have always struggled with (hence the Negaholics book), but is certainly something I am working on. Laziness...not sure how writing this blog makes me lazy, but okay. Nobody owes you ANYTHING (except maybe an apology). Love that baby...what is up with this, how does me having complaints about life with my mom living in my home make it so that I don't love my baby! Now my thoughts are coming out all jumbled. Anyway, I don't think anyone owes me SOMETHING (or ANYTHING), though that apology might be nice. I haven't a car to volunteer in my community (though I miss doing that), and as for planting a garden, I live in a nice apartment complex that isn't going to let me plant a garden in the courtyard behind my apartment. Though our Pastor is talking about making the back lot at our church into a garden for those who can't garden at home (oh what a shocker I get out at least some times!)
Oh...and my husband treats me like a queen! That must throw everyone off!
"Life is what YOU make it, and from what I've read, you prefer to wallow in the muck and mire - very similar to a pig in maneur. Being a mother can be a rewarding job, and you are very fortunate to have a child. Being a wife IS a responsibility - your husband will someday resent and possibly retaliate against your laziness - I mean after all, you treat him like a dog! He works all day to support you, your mom, himself and your child (and the one on the way? ) just to come home and hear you whine about how your mom asked you to pick up after yourself and how tired you are?, he has to take care of the baby, and I bet you don't cook for him either - let me guess McDonald's every night?"
What the hell? I don't complain to my husband (at least not often) that would make him mad at my mom which certainly doesn't help any. Where does all this laziness come from? I just don't get it. Complaining about my mother, or anything else for that matter doesn't make me lazy. Being on the internet a few hours a day doesn't make me lazy. Additionally this person hasn't read anything that comes form The Phat Diaries since I am not a McDonald's fan and am trying to get healthy.
"You should be working as a team with your husband, not sitting around on this computer all day every day. Show some respect. He is out working all day while you do NOTHING. For a young couple, yes it can be difficult, you are paving the way for your future- which in your daily despair, I predict a bleak outcome. It is extremely disrespectful how you take advantage of everyone you know and how you are so unappreciative. The way you've described how poor you are and all the various family members you've lived with - seems like you have had a lot of family willing to share to help get you started in the big bad world. But yet, you type nothing but negative, ungreatful comments about each of them. Have you ever considered where you might be without any of them? Do you think it's a picnic for any of them? It disgusts me just to READ about your day, I can't imagine actually welcoming you into my home or having to live with you"
We lived with one family member (my husband's cousin) for six weeks while we got jobs, and found a place to live. It was a horrible experience, but that doesn't make me ungrateful. However, as for using those around us, that is ridiculous.
"my guess is that you were asked to leave the homes of your family members."
We worked hard to leave there in a timely fashion so they didn't feel used (though the situation sadly was not a good one, something that I wish I could have fixed but couldn't figure out how).
"From the way you describe yourself and your day to day CRAP that makes up your world - you continue to burn bridges to the point where you will have NO ONE."
I thought it was clearly stated at the top of this blog that it was my complaints. It isn't my world, it is one small aspect of my world. The only bridge that might be burned for anything that I feel that is written in the blog would be the relationship with my mom. I sincerely hope that everything will work out fine with her (we like each other a lot more when we don't live with each other).
"I think it's time you grow up and start thinking of other people besides yourself - starting with that poor child of yours."
I like this. My child is poor because during his nap and the time that he is playing well by himself I blog. I like that it is already determined that I don't clean, cook, or spend time with anyone (including the baby). I like how it is determined from a blog dedicated to complaints that I am nothing more then a complainer and that I am sure to live a long, boring, lonely life (with no money). But most of all...I love the end...
"-Good Luck"
What? That is such a dramatic change. I have been ridiculed, insulted, through a very long message that seems to be trying to make me bleed, or make me feel incredibly insufficient. It has called me stupid (though not using the words, but telling me that writing blogs is not an intelligent thing to do), unread (they obviously haven't checked the library database to see what I have been checking out, nor do they know that the librarians know us by name and play with Marcus when we go once or twice a week), and obviously I must be completely self centered, and full of hatred. Even with that said, it would seem that this letter packs a lot of hatred toward someone they don't know, or have ever met. It is amazing that some people can see a small portion of a soul, of a heart, or of a mind, and declare that they have it all figured out.
Two quick notes:
1) I am not pregnant (though we thought I might be).
2) I have exciting news that I will be sharing soon (in a new post, this one is too long, and to full of issues!)
Till next time (if there really are people who come to read this).
Oh one last thing...part of me hopes this gets read by the annonamous person who left it, and part of me thinks, "man if it is so terrible to read, why did you come back enough to say 'I sometimes visit'"!
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