Fear...

There is a slight fear that my mom will lose her case. It is the fear that my dreams won't be able to survive. Life living with my mom is completely different then the life I imagined as a child. It is a struggle to maintain a close relationship with my husband and to make sure that my son is raised the way that I want him raised and not the way that she wants him raised. She takes up a great deal of space that would mean that living quarters either have to be tight (like they are now) or we need a really big house which isn't usually what people buy as their first home. We hope to buy our first home in the next five years and are saving hard for it, so we have been thinking about it.

If my mom gets her disability it opens up her options, a lot. She has made it sound like she doesn't really want to stay here. As much as I can come up with complaints for living with her, I wouldn't mind her staying in town. I don't mind helping her out or even running her about, as long as it isn't all the time. The only problem with her living here is that it is all the time. I do not get a break. I do not get to go home and let my hair down. It is exhausting and worrisome. But if she never gets disability...what then.

Then she doesn't have any options. Then she is now here....living off of us...and that is that.