65. Dealing

The hardest part of having my mom here isn't how it makes me feel. It isn't the fact that we clash (as people with similar personalities so often do). It isn't that her depression adds to my own (naturally problematic depression that I really don't want to take medication for). It isn't the fact that she wants things done her way all of the time, or that she has bad habits that she keeps trying to teach my son (chocolate milk and hot cocoa in one day? for a 15 month old?).

It is the fact that it bothers my husband so. It wouldn't be bad if he didn't care. But because she has no respect for him or that this is his household or that he works hard for his money (which she likes to spend so regularly). It makes him depressed and moody. He wishes he wouldn't have let her come here in the first place. She had a doctor, insurance of a sort (getting her more medical help then she has been), and an apartment. She had a housing grant that paid all but thirteen dollars of her rent. If only we had found a way for her to stay there. Of course her utilities were expensive and she had no money. But had she stayed there we wouldn't be having all the issues we are having now. Of course in Michigan she wouldn't have seen a judge yet, but at least she wouldn't be struggling to see a doctor, trying to get help, and living off of us in such a way that it puts pressure and strain on my young marriage.

Maybe it is the item that will strengthen us for all time. Both of us walked into this marriage believing that divorce wasn't a real option. No matter what it was a tooth and nail fight to the finish. Divorce is the easy out, and when we said our vows, we didn't think there ever would be an out. Two years later, one kid later, three states later, and seven months down with my mom as part of our household we still feel the same way. there is something to be said when the vows we took, hold through this. And of course, there is the fact that once you have gone through a few rough "snow storms" nothing can faze you.