57. I Want My Home Back

Sometimes I know that I am greedy and selfish. I know that to some degree we all are, at one point or another. My greediness, my selfishness, has made it so that I want my house back. Of course when said like that, I feel like I should throw myself to the ground, kick, and hit, and scream upon it like the child throwing the temper tantrum, after all, I sound like a whiny little kid. Even with that thought in mind, it doesn't change the desires of my heart. It has been since March. I am tired of living with my mom and long for having my own house again. I want...

Well, there is much to be said about having a home of your own. One where you feel like it is yours. One where you feel like you are in charge. One where you know you have finally grown up. Having had that, and lost it, I mourn for it. I haven't lived on my own long. I left home just before my 20th birthday (um, two days before my 20th birthday), moved into the dorms. It was that summer before my 21st that I got my own apartment. What excitement and joy. Then financial circumstances drove me home where I stayed with my mom for five whole months. It was awful and I couldn't wait to get out of there. I got married September 2005, moved out of my mom's apartment and into "our first home". What joy, what excitement. Since then we have moved from Michigan to Wisconsin, and from Wisconsin to Texas. This is our third home together, but this one we have shared with my mom. She has lived with us for six months now. In the long run that isn't that long, however...it feels like forever. When looking at it from a percentage type of view it is a long time. My mother has lived with me for 1/4 of my married life, for 42% of my life as a mother, and not counting the time that I lived with her while an adult she has lived with me for 8% of my adult life. That certainly feels like a lot (especially the 25% of my married life!).