It isn't everyday that I hate living with my mom. Just most of them. It also feels like there are a growing number of days that I hate living with my mom. I had hoped that there would be fewer and fewer, but no such luck.
It feels almost as if the situation is getting under my skin and agrivating the way I feel about it. I decided that since she wanted to go to Flordia to visit her mom for a month that that would give everyone time off. So, we figured out how to scrounge up the money for her to go for her birthday (which is today). We couldn't send her till next month, but at least she could go and feel good, and we could have some time off. She was really excited, and then decided that she had to wait till her disiblity came in. That way if her case came up she wouldn't have to worry about getting back to Texas, and she would have money to spend. In the mean time we could buy her a hundred dollars worth of yarn.
Well, that wasn't really what lucky thirteen was supposed to complain about. My mom has decided that she knows how everyone feels and is going to make it a point to point it out. She has told me several times that I resent her. Which is slightly true, but never about the situations that she brings up. If feels like she is trying to feed us into one of two things. Either really hating the situation till we all just blow up, or to feeling so sorry that she is having to be here that we try and buy her into feeling better about the situation.
Today she told me that she knows Peter (my husband) is really angry with her and doesn't want her to be here. Well, he is actually okay with her being here as long as I am. We have talked about the issue on several occassions and he just wants me to be happy with it. He isn't angry with her, and doesn't hate her being here though he doesn't like the fact that I am struggling with it. But she is sure that he is angry with her and doesn't want to talk to her, because they haven't talked much recently. He leaves for work at 8:30am and gets home at 10:30-11:30pm Monday thru Friday. We have been here a week, this weekend we went shopping, and then to his dad's to use the net (ours wasn't working), and then his dad took all of us out to eat (INCLUDING HER). To me it doesn't look like he is avoiding her, or that he isn't talking with her. We even took her shopping after dinner. But she is going to see what she sees. She thinks I am constantly trying to make her feel guilty for this or for that, and that I resent her for this and for that.
Truth is...I wish she would let me live my life even though she lives her. I wish she wouldn't boss me around, teach my son habits that will effect his health in the long run, and I wish that I had some time off away from her. I wish that life was fair and that she could live with a husband, or be healthy at 48, but since it isn't I just wish that she would be content and let me be as well...
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