10. Money, money, money

My mom has always had horrible spending issues. She loved giving gifts, going out to eat, and buying new things (don't we all?). However she never really had the money to do all of those things. When I was 17 Fingerhut sent me a catalogue with a credit line. My mom bought items and put the first negative mark on my credit. When I was 19 she bought a top of the line computer from Dell, using my credit. To this day she owes over 2k. At first it was only 1700, but late fees and then over credit fees, and so on and so forth. Last I checked it was 2300. We can't afford to do anything about it, so we have done nothing. I did give her permission to use my credit both times, not able to say no, and hoping that she wouldn't damage my credit.

I am over those things, I didn't have a choice but to get over them. I didn't want to spend my life angry. However, she hasn't gotten any better with money, only now she is using our money. The idea is that she pays us back when she finally gets her disability. But she has a lot of plans for that money and I don't know that it will go as far as she hopes it will.

Then I feel torn. Do I say forget what you owe us. Forget that you bought a $40 book knowing you had no income and that we would have to either pay for it or loan you the money to pay for it. And say, yes mom, go on those trips you want to go on. After all if she goes to Michigan for a month, and on a cruise for a week, and to Florida to visit her mom, that means she is away for awhile, and that does sound good. But why did she have to buy a $40 book? And why did she have to do it when money was tight for us and writing a check for $40 is painful?