Living with my mom has never been an easy thing to do. When I lived with her in High School we fought every day. Same with my first year of college where I went to the local community college. However, I must say that moving out felt wonderful. I lived with her for five months after two years away from home. It was horrible, but I worked hard not to fight with her and then I married and moved out once again. After a year and a half she moved in with us. Things have been horrible for me and my husband. But I have worked hard to try and keep the peace. In other words I have done a lot of fighting with my husband because I don't want to spend every day fighting with my mom. This has been horrible for my relationship with my husband. A years worth of living with my mom, having my husband feel beaten down because he is not man of the house (my mom works very hard to be in charge), and having our son sleep in our walk in closet has been very hard. I have only fought with my mom three times in that year.
One time was the other day. But in reality I lost. She got what she wanted and was happy. I told her a touch of how I feel and it really doesn't matter. We woke up the next day and she was cheerful and acted as if nothing had happened. That was the end of it. Just like that and it is over. No apologies, no "how can we fix this?", nothing. I just don't know how much longer my husband and I can handle this.
2 comments:
I cannot imagine living with my parents again! You must have the patience of a saint! In your more recent posts it seems like you and are husband are creating some stipulations where she's at least contributing something ...which, to me, seems like a good step forward. But I wonder if, when you lived with HER, if your Mom ever said, "My home, my rules" as my mother did. If so, it seems the reverse is also true! Anyway, best of luck to you ... and I'll be stopping back in hopes things are going better! Meanwhile, hugs to you!
I feel for you. I have had to move back in with my parents at 37. I left my home in the US and my friends to help my parents and spend more time with my father who was very ill. He passed away last year. We were very close. I have been living with my Mom since helping her with alot of things that need taking care of. Its been a full time job. My Mom and I have never been as close as my Dad and I were. She is not big on communication, negative, and confrontational so communicating is like a battle and one-sided. My Mom loves to turn everything around on me and not take some responsibility. Its to the point where I have worn myself out trying to help and cope myself. Now I just want to move out. I hate to leave her but its not good for my health anymore. I suggest looking out for yourself and the most important relationship - you and your husband, before that suffers too, and lay down some ground rules. Its your home and if after a month it still continues, make a plan to find your Mom a new place to live, or a care home and dont let her make you feel guilty for it. Unless you have a large enough home for a seperate entrance I suggest the first option...
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