63. I'll Make Chili Tonight

"I'll make chili tonight," she declares at about four o'clock. In other words, she felt good enough to cook, and she wanted some of her own cooking. It isn't that I mind her cooking, I love when she cooks, which happens about once every other month. Then again, maybe I do mind her cooking, the actual cooking, not just her doing it.

Well, we will start at the beginning. First I thought and thought all day long about what to fix for dinner. At about two I settled on baked rigatoni, a meal I like quite a bit. Then I realized I would have to go and get cheese because we didn't have any left from the burritos we had last night. So, I vetoed the rigatoni. Instead I was going to make a different pasta dish, one that didn't require cheese.

So, when the announcement came there were two issues. One, if we could have planned ahead, just a smidgen then I wouldn't have had to spend all day racking my brain. Two, we needed cheese again. Mom won't eat chili without cheese, it is her official rule.

Then there is the chili itself. I am not a huge chili fan, but my mom's chili is super bland. I am telling you tomatoes, meat, beads, green peppers, a pinch of chili powder, but bland. It is the kind of bland that made people fight over the riches of the Indies if you know what I mean. But oh well, dinner is made, cheese is gotten, now we are just waiting on the hubby...

62. All the Chicken

My mom is a meataholic. Well, specifically, chicken. She eats chicken like there is no tomorrow. Normally we get one chicken breast at dinner, or I cut up the meat and put it in a dish to make it go farther. After all, the meat is the most expensive part of the meal and we don't have unlimited funds to feed the four of us. Well, when my mom feeds herself she eats just chicken. Or chicken and stuffing or such and has three chicken breasts with her meal. Well this has made it so that we have been running out of chicken really quickly. I buy enough meat for the month and it lasts two weeks.

Of course this time I cheated a bit. I bought hamburger in the tube. You know the kind that is packaged long before it gets to the store. It has a picture of great burger on the package and is lots cheaper then buying it fresher....She watched a movie or read a book in her ethical delemas class that told her that a lot of nasty stuff went in there. Well, I pretend that I don't know that, and it tastes good, so I work with that. But she won't eat it. Which means that I don't have to worry about it disappearing every time we go somewhere (nothing like going to the store and coming home to find out you have run out of something while you were gone!).

Christmas Shopping

Christmas shopping is something that we have started. It seems odd to start it so soon, but we have a ton of people to buy for. I have never been a Black Friday shopper. The idea of a big crowd and crazy shopping experiences scares me rather then excites me. This year I need to save the money. We are buying a gift for all of Peter's eight brothers and sisters as well as my brothers and our parents and the whole nine yards. With this big of a list it is definitely important to save money. With www.black-friday.net I can browse black friday ads and save money while shopping online. It is the perfect match. Black Friday savings and I don't have to leave the house and enter a crazy shopping crowd, all I have to do is sit in front of the computer and find everything I need. Of course, I can start looking, NOW!

I think I will be checking out the Harbor Freight Ad in search of something for my husband. He is starting his shop all over and would love some new tools of some sort, I am sure! Where will you shop this holiday season? Check out the Black Friday location with sales information from Ace Hardware to Walmart (and everything in between).

The Hearing

The hearing went well. However, she didn't win. But, she didn't loose. It sounds like she has a really really good chance of winning her disability case. She is being sent to a psychological evaluation to see if she is able to do sit down work and to find out if she is depressed (someone must think so she is on Wellbutrin and Cymbalta). So, we should know by then end of January. This does make her moving out plans more difficult, but it sounds all good to me and is of course a much better response then loosing.

61. Throwing It All Out

My husband doesn't rinse his lunch dishes. It is a fact. Well yesterday being Sunday we went off and did our own thing (games with three of my husbands brothers). When we came back my mom had cleaned on the kitchen. At first I was amazed, and happy, and a little excited (why wouldn't I be glad that she had made a contribution to our household?) Then I found out that she threw out the dishes that weren't rinsed. I was informed that if I wanted them they were in the garbage can and I could go dig them out.

Now if you have ever seen a garbage can at an apartment complex, you would know that I wasn't going to go dig the stuff out. Rather I was going to be thankful that it was a $15 set that she had thrown away and not something more expensive. But it did make me made. If she didn't want to deal with it, why not leave it and let me. Why make it harder for me to deal? And why doesn't she care that now I have nothing to send my husbands lunch food in and I must go buy something tonight.

Credit Cards, LIfe Savers or Hellish Providers?

Fresh on my own I received my first credit card. The idea was to use it for emergencies and to use it carefully to build credit. The idea was a good one and for the first six months of having it I did really well. I got a second card and my limits got raised higher and higher. It was great and just what I wanted. Then I had to use it for an emergency and the bill went really high. Once it was up that high it was easier and easier to say, "hey, I can afford the minimum balance plus just a little so it's all good." Circumstances made it harder and harder to pay and it was easier and easier to use it to treat myself. "Life has been hard lately, I deserve a good meal out or this new item." Soon my cards were maxed out and my minimum payments were getting me no where. Then I couldn't even afford minimum payments. It all went down hill from there and with interest, I paid a lot to get free.

My situation isn't the only one. There are tons of people who get sucked in and get in trouble with credit cards. Of course it doesn't have to be that way. Credit cards can be very useful. The trick is to spend what you can afford, really truly afford, and pay them off quickly. One must avoid any circumstances that bring more fees (if at all possible) such as late fees, over balance fees, and all that jazz. But it must be known that a good credit card can also help one get out of debt. If you have a low interest or a lower interest payment that can really make things easier. So, if you find a good card a balance transfer might just be the thing to aid one who is in debt.

Then there is the fact that rewards credit cards can give you rewards such as flier miles, and gifts for doing the spending you would already do. If this is an approach that appeals to you then use the credit card for your monthly spending and pay it off at the end of the month or at least pay most of it off at the end of the month.

Credit cards can be good things, or they can be nightmares. Your decisions can make it so. You can decide how, when, where, why you are going to use your card and how you are going to pay it off. Spend responsibly to save on the nightmare that I had to go through.

Anyway, thank you for tuning in to this sponsored post. We will return shortly with our regular broadcasting ;-)

60. Dinner or No?

I have decided that it is one of my pet peeves to have someone decide whether or not they are eating by what you have cooked. "Are you eating with us tonight?" "What's for dinner?" or "What did you cook?" is the next line. It was something that wasn't allowed when I was growing up, and I certainly understand now. But come on, how frustrating can it be?

Cooking for a crowd that likes different things is a pain in the! I like to use seasonings and herbs, she doesn't and pepper isn't in her vocabulary at all! She doesn't like cheese very much (one of my favorite foods), and she complains we don't eat enough potatoes. The biggest reason we don't eat a lot of potatoes is the fact that my husband doesn't like the microwaved the next day, so I try to make foods that he will eat at work. She doesn't like pasta very much and it is one of my favorite dishes. Of course she would rather have a bowl of ice cream then a nice pasta dish (with the exception of spaghetti).

But often I just don't cook things she likes enough. And she complains about it. The other day we had loaded baked potatoes with all the fixings, and she complained that the bacon wasn't crispy enough. Well, gee wiz!

59. The Challenge

My mom continues to challenge my husband's authority in his own home. It is bothering him a lot. It takes place in small ways (things like drinking out of the milk jug even though he asked her not to). Last night it was reclining at the dinner table. Where she gave him disgusting looks of displeasure and told him to get his feet down. It is incredibly hard for him not to feel like this is his home where he is "king of the palace" so to say. At work he is the youngest and as such treated like a little kid. One of his co-workers is constently making him feel as if he is a child. Overall it would be good for him to feel like the man he is. He needs to feel in control, especially here.

The Happenings

If you are one who reads 1001 Things I hate About Living With My Mom regularly then you know it has been awhile since I have written. In reality the situation has grown more and more frustrating for me. I just haven't taken the time to write about it.

Worry is setting in. We have a week until my mom's hearing and I keep feeling this nagging in the back of my head going, "what if...". What if she looses her case? Then what. She won't have the money to move out. She won't have insurance or money to pay for her health care. She will continue to stay here...I don't know how my family, particularly me and my husband will handle this.

It is a panicky feeling that I have. Like what if the rest of my life....

Of course, I don't know the answer to that and I really need to relax and let it happen. After all it might be that she wins and that is that.

Corporate 101

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This has been a sponsored post, thank you for tuning in, we will be back to your regularly scheduled programming in just a moment. Have a great day!

58. Whining for No Reason

My mom would always get mad at us when we whined. It was just one of her pet peeves. Of course I never noticed what a whiner she is, but it is true. The other day we were shopping. Oh, do I hate shopping. But that's what we were doing. We went about out shopping and met up at the front. As I was using the self scanner she started whining that we got a lot of heat and eat stuff that she wouldn't heat and eat. She kept on complaining about it, after all she wouldn't eat pepperoni hot pockets and combination pizza rolls. I told her the hot pockets were for my husbands lunch on those days when I just didn't make enough for leftovers. That didn't matter.

I didn't point out that it was her who was spending thirty dollars on chocolate, licorice, cookies, and other crap. She could have taken her thirty dollars and bought something heat and eat, but that would have sacrificed her junk food. Of course she probably didn't buy enough. Last month it seemed that she got more then this month and last month she ran out a week and a half before we had money. So, she spent a week and a half begging for my chocolate stash and not believing that I really didn't (and don't) have one.

57. I Want My Home Back

Sometimes I know that I am greedy and selfish. I know that to some degree we all are, at one point or another. My greediness, my selfishness, has made it so that I want my house back. Of course when said like that, I feel like I should throw myself to the ground, kick, and hit, and scream upon it like the child throwing the temper tantrum, after all, I sound like a whiny little kid. Even with that thought in mind, it doesn't change the desires of my heart. It has been since March. I am tired of living with my mom and long for having my own house again. I want...

Well, there is much to be said about having a home of your own. One where you feel like it is yours. One where you feel like you are in charge. One where you know you have finally grown up. Having had that, and lost it, I mourn for it. I haven't lived on my own long. I left home just before my 20th birthday (um, two days before my 20th birthday), moved into the dorms. It was that summer before my 21st that I got my own apartment. What excitement and joy. Then financial circumstances drove me home where I stayed with my mom for five whole months. It was awful and I couldn't wait to get out of there. I got married September 2005, moved out of my mom's apartment and into "our first home". What joy, what excitement. Since then we have moved from Michigan to Wisconsin, and from Wisconsin to Texas. This is our third home together, but this one we have shared with my mom. She has lived with us for six months now. In the long run that isn't that long, however...it feels like forever. When looking at it from a percentage type of view it is a long time. My mother has lived with me for 1/4 of my married life, for 42% of my life as a mother, and not counting the time that I lived with her while an adult she has lived with me for 8% of my adult life. That certainly feels like a lot (especially the 25% of my married life!).

Making the Most of It

Storage is often an issue. Lets just face it, there is too much stuff that we want to keep and so often not enough places to put it. Of course, there are opportunities to take advantage of. Such as the big room that stores the cars can store other things. All it takes is the right storage bins. With the right bins, you can have a field day storing out of season clothing, holiday decorations, toys that the kids don't use regularly, but aren't ready to get rid of. Yep, you can store it all. Every last piece of...stuff.

Well we all have these needs...so take a look and see if you can find what you need.

This has been a sponsored post, by a company out to help you make the most of your garage storage space. Thanks for tuning in and come back soon!

56. Forgetfulness

I know it isn't right to complain about something like forgetfulness, but it is driving me crazy. Maybe it isn't the fact that she has forgotten that we have talked about certain things, but that she gets angry about us not talking about them. Then she says things like, "you never talk to me!" But that isn't true. The big issue here was passing on information about what was going on in the Michigan state government. My father-in-law had talked to me a little bit about what was going on and then I talked to mom. But she doesn't remember that we talked. So when my brother calls and tells her, and then she says, this is what's happening, and I say, "I know." She gets mad and asks why didn't you tell me? And I am like, I did. And she is like, "no you didn't". And of course she thinks that that is because I never talk to her. But I do talk to her. Errr.

I know I can't get too mad, because it is certainly not her fault that she doesn't remember well anymore. It is just frustrating. Of course it would be frustrating even if she didn't live with me. But what can I say?

When the Time Has Come

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I am Now Very Nervous

My mom's hearing date has been set. She will go before the judge on October 23rd, 2007. I am very nervous. There is so much riding on this hearing. It is of course possible that they will tell her that she is not eligible and that will be that. Of course, that doesn't seem fair. But then, this is life and life often falls into the that's not fair category. There is this very nervous feeling that I get when I think about the situation. If she gets her money it will most likely be about March before she moves out. She will have lived her an entire year. However, the real big concern is, what if she doesn't get her money?

This is a fear that my husband has even more then I do. He said last night, "it isn't so much that she lives with us, or all the issues that we have with her living with us, it is the fact that she doesn't respect me that bothers me most." It is true, and so many issues boil down to that fact. She doesn't respect him. It drives me crazy, but it is the truth.

Anyway, we are now praying hard and hoping that she wins her case, hoping that the lawyer works extra hard to make it happen. But we should know by the end of this month.

55. Greetings

I have been trying a new technique with dealing with my mom. Yesterday I invited her to our family night out. We went out to eat, we then went to the library and we got home about nine thirty. She had a great time. Marcus had a great time. I had an okay time, though I was completely frustrated by book limits set by this rinky dink library system that we are now a part of (we are used to checking out 100 books at a time and now we have a 40 book limit and only 20 can be non-fiction, but who wants to check out 20 fiction books at once?). Anyway, my husband had an okay time, it took too long for his tastes. But none the less it was a decent night out.

Well, now mom is talking about all the outings she wants to take coming up. First she has her doctors appointment on Thursday, she wants to go shopping with me on Friday (when we get paid), and she wants us to take her shopping on Saturday (H.E.B., Walmart, and some bulk food store). I must say that I do not want to go shopping on Saturday or Sunday. H.E.B. and Walmart are worse then the zoo on the weekends. You have to fight your way in and fight your way out and it just isn't an enjoyable experience. I always walk away feeling frustrated and upset. The problem, she gets her food stamps this weekend, so she would like to buy more food for herself. Which can be translated into junk food for herself. She ran out of food that she bought for herself after the first week, sides from a little chocolate since she bought about eight pounds of chocolate for the month.

But, she is up at five asking us if we are going on Saturday...

54. I Would Like to Go Out to Eat

I spent the day at work with my husband yesterday (it was inventory counting so I helped out since I hadn't seen him all day). We got home about four and at that time I was telling mom about my day (which had been pretty good, though my feet were tired since I don't have a decent pair of shoes right now). Toward the middle of the conversation she let me know that she wanted to go out to eat. Albeit we still have five days till pay day and don't have going out to eat money. We barely have milk money till Friday, but she wants to go out to eat.

Well, we didn't go out to eat, but she makes me feel bad. What am I suppose to say? How am I suppose to jump up and be like of course we can go out to eat. I understand you want out of the house, you are sick of my cooking, and don't want to cook yourself. Top it all off we are out of food that you don't really have to cook to eat (except microwave popcorn if you can count that). Anyway, I just wish she would be happy when we invite her to eat out and not make us feel like we need to eat out to please her.

Is that too much to ask?